My gorgeous babe
I look at you and wonder
you make me wonder
ask myself what I did right
you were so small
I so young
I couldn’t give you up even when he asked me too
you were growing beautifully in my young body and I felt your presence
No I would say
Do what you want
he was immature
23 and loved the nights delights
our love didn’t last
gone within your second year
so two we were
you made me realise that I had to be strong
i didn’t need a man
i was young
i had ambition I had you
we could love and grow and thrive why not
today as I look across the room
you make me cry
heart of gold full of compassion and love
did I create you
I love you
I look forward to watching your grow
You tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.
~ Falsely yours
And the cats across the roof, mad in love, scream into drainpipes. And it’s I who am ready, ready to listen. Never tired, never sad, never guilty.