Love (singular) = other unknown (unrequited) = feeling of an emotion called sadness

What happens when you love someone and that feeling is not reciprocated?

Do you wallow in sadnesss

Do you try to carry on

Do you search for another

Or do you just paint the feeling away

I wonder why that happens in life

That one person can have so much love for another and yet they feel nothing.

Maybe I’m done with love

Maybe love is done with me

 

I must forget you

I can’t keep my eyes open

They are heavy with this life

My heart beats slowly

It feels cracked in places

The light seeping out

Everything has gone dark

Sometimes I wonder why not me

Why don’t you love me

I think I would die for you

Take a bullet to my chest

Why can’t you see me?

I’m not pretty enough

Deformed, imperfection

Not smart enough

I’m tired

So tired

I forget, I must forget you……

 

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Emma Visca – Biography

Emma  has been working in a Senior position in the National Health Service in Scotland for the past 15 years.  Educated initially at George Street school of Art, Emma did not pursue her art, falling pregnant at 19 years old she gave birth to her daughter and obtained two degrees. The first in Nursing, the second in Public Health Nursing. Despite this  Emma  continued to paint and has sold art work across the USA and Europe through Saatchiart.com. She has exhibited locally in Scotland and travelled to Barcelona in 2017 to participate in an International Art fair.

 

Emma’s art continues to develop, She is fascinated with people and relationships and how people move from one state to the next. How people change in their surroundings. How relationships change and develop over time. Emma’s more recent work is moving towards Abstract Expressionism.

Emma believes that her art portrays her active mind, expressing her personality. She uses colour and layers to create reflections of relationship complexities, often working on two or three paintings at a time. Doing so allows her to explore multiple creative threads. Always being a people person, she is continually thinking about people, their moods, their sexuality. She pours her soul onto the canvas and at times feels exhausted afterwards as If her story comes to an end. The path reached its destination.

Emma explores life and documents her journey in her paintings and her poetry. Each painting is based on internal emotions, personal experience and deep reflection. Some are also influenced by books, news stories, articles, dreams, desires and her constant wonder at the world that surrounds her.

If you would like to purchase Emma’s Art work you can do so via Saatchi.com or contact directly via facebook and twitter.

 

 

Told Me

You said I would be okay

Told me to tolerate the side effects

Teeth chattering

Irritable

You told me it would be okay

You told me

I felt like a shell Washed up by the Sea

Empty inside

Burn, burn, burn

My head it just burns

You told me it would be ok

My rare, rare find You told me

Sometimes you make me smile

I miss that

You were in town Didn’t come by

Do you have that key ring dangling from your car mirror?

You told me it would be ok

My rare, rare find You told me

I have your soul engraved on my heart

I said to the man in the parlour

Tattoo his soul onto my heart

I have it now Your soul

You told me it would be ok

My rare rare find Lost now

Swept off by the Sea

You were never mine to begin with.

 

Emma Visca

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Wonder

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder who I am

I look around and see my children

Paintings that I have painted and I wonder who I am? Did I paint those?

I look at my body and I wonder …..

Is this my body

I hold a book in my hands and read

Everthing seems new to me…

Everything

I wonder

I wonder

Im always wondering

Im almost not really here

I think perhaps I’m in someone else’s body

Wonder, wonder, wonder

Can you see me?

Am I alive?

Am I real?

Wonder

Wondering

Wonder……….

 

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Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life. Bob Marley

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Vulnerability

Sometimes I dislike myself for being so weak so vulnerable. I listen to myself, hear the doctors and find myself looking round the room and over my shoulder. It’s not me you’re talking about. I’m a strong independent woman, who are you?

I listen to my story in disbelief, that’s not me I would say…..

‘Vulnerability is not a weakness, a passing indisposition, or something we can arrange to do without. Vulnerability is not a choice. Vulnerability is the underlying, ever-present, and abiding undercurrent of our natural state. To run from vulnerability is to run from the essence of our nature. The attempt to be invulnerable is the vain attempt to become something we are not, and most especially, to close off our understanding of the grief of others. More seriously, in refusing our vulnerability, we refuse the help needed at every turn of our existence and immobilize the essential title and conversational foundations of our identity.’

David Whyte

So i guess I can accept this vulnerability, accept it as my own, my own me and the thing is I’m getting stronger every day because I have love in my heart, I have the love of my children, the love of my family, my friends…….

 

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