Life as I know it ….

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Neil Young wrote this song ‘one of these days‘ It’s the kind of song that I think about, maybe one day I might write a letter to all the fiends I’ve known. All the friends that have had an impact on my life. Tonight I was sitting at dinner with my three teenagers and we relocated a book that I started to write. Amelie and Sonny took turns at reading out loud my attempt at a novel. This sparked conversation about my life and my art and at times how  strange it can be. My kids haven’t had it easy and even now there is constant pressure for me to find someone else, get a partner, find happiness. Why is it that people feel the urge to set people up? why do people feel uneasy about someone being on their own? have we not moved on form this? I’m very lucky to have close friends around me that do not think like this, They embrace my one woman show, love that I do not want a partner and embrace my yoga and mindfulness and whatever else I feel the need to gain knowledge and understanding in. I hope that I am a good role model for my children and they too learn that in order to love they need to find love in themselves and be happy in their own skin. I only understood that as an adult, way too late if you ask me. There has been so much pain in my life that I sometimes fear that I will never understand love. As a child I grew up wishing I was that princess that experienced the happily ever after. I’m not sure that even exists. There is this couple in my yoga class that are maybe in their sixties I look at them and sometimes think that they have found it. The answer that I am seeking true love…. When I spoke to the women she told me about their Christmas that they didn’t want to spend the day stressing so, their adult children came  over and they made a big pot of chicken curry but spent the day walking the dogs along the beautiful Scottish coast and then returning to chill and drink wine. Is that not life?

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