Will You Marry Me

Never knew feelings

Knew the meaning of Us

Tied up and dark

Never knew the meaning of light

But now you…

take that all away…. mmmm


Love has washed it all away

And brightened me heart again

Love has washed it all away

And Brightened my heart again

The love you taught me wasn’t one I had before

A kindness. A touch a softness in display

And you took it all away ..

Sometimes I feel that I will be washed away

Or a great hand will reach for you again

A mother of a child one hand that cant deny but now you are here

brighten my heart again

Now you are hear brighten my heart again

Old whispers of a land we once knew

Fingers touching it is all anew

Can we survive if we just clasp a hand

can we survive if we hold each other….

can we survive if truth takes a hold

can we survive and let lose of the gold

And we stand one anew bearing nothing but our truth

Yes we stand once a knew bearing nothing

bearing nothing

but us two


and just us two….

To David my usE3FD382D-C584-49F4-9864-332835639CAF








There is something peaceful about love….

Calm love..

There is a calmness

A peacefulness

Your love takes away the chaotic mind

The madness that engulfs

like a wild Scottish day

The water is still

The mind cleared

The loft empty

Love is peaceful

Love is quiet

The stirring in me gone for now..



Tortured Love..

How do you conquer love when tortured inside?

The grey matter that courses through

The black Tar throbbing in ones veins

The blackness

And then another kind soul

A true love

A kind love

Falls for the victim

Falls for the broken bird

Fallen from the sky

How does one allow love to flourish when pain



Hatred feeds the heart

Perhaps there can be no such love

Perhaps once broken, the darkness engulfs never to be seen again

Loved again


Death is the only path…


Wild Beasts

I started to realise that I could only function as a human being for maybe half of a year, three quarters at a push. After that I am taken to the world of the dead. Like those zombie movies but everyone kinda just still sees me in this body with my smile, my kindness, my weak heart…

I need to paint. I need to let the brush take me away on my journey. Some other place, a quiet place my own private underworld where my wild beasts are..

Some women get erased a little at a time, some all at once. Some reappear. Every woman who appears wrestles with the forces that would have her disappear. She struggles with the forces that would tell her story for her, or write her out of the story, the genealogy, the rights of man, the rule of law. The ability to tell your own story, in words or images, is already a victory, already a revolt. Rebecca Solnit,


unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don’t do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don’t do it. when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. there is no other way. and there never was. Charles Bukowski


What does it mean to have a life filled with happiness and yet still be overwhelmed with sadness..

Depression. It’s a term used so often but what does it actually mean?

What does it mean?

If Someone has lots of joy in their life, a beautiful family, a home, friends, love and  a great future ahead why should they feel sadness? Surely they have everything what is there to be sad about?

Depression doesn’t care what you have or how much is in your life that can cause you to smile it takes it all from you in an instant. It captures you and leaves you at its mercy you are left with no control you look at your beautiful family and all that you have but still you don’t want to be here.. Depression swallows you up and eats away at your soul until it feels black darkened with sadness